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Mummy said the angels would carry me away when the Lord chose my time to die. Nothing to fear, for our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name...He knew what was right, an’ how it should be. Bad Daddy, letting his Angel take me away. An’ he didn’t let me die, even after they put me in the dark box, an’ the wriggly things crawled over my pretty black dress. Even after the dirt caked under my nails...

Miss Edith ate cakes. Yellow and white. Little fingers in the icing, an’ Daddy in her... She let him, the wicked girl. No colors now, just me, laying in my burrow, listening to Miss Edith screaming...Silly girl, didn’t know she was supposed to be dead. So was I.

How boring an’ damp an’ my face got smudged. Waiting an’ waiting. Shouldn’t be afraid of the dark, but I was, an’ so lonely. Only Miss Edith. Screams echoing inside... not much chance of a chat on her end. Be quiet, hush, hush. “Ring a ring o’ roses, pocket full o’ posies...” Only twasn’t proper without the spinning. She liked to spin. She said the twirls made pretty dots bob behind her eyelids an’ made her tummy rumble. My tummy is growling too. Grr, grr. No puppy for me. It would only die anyway. Everything does, you know. Except me. Someday I will be someone’s pet. He will be my baby, an’ I shall call him Sunshine. When will Daddy open his prezzie? Or will Mummy’s angels unwrap me?

Only one Angel though, an’ he wasn’t golden, an’ didn’t hold a flaming sword like in church. Nothing like church, nothing going as planned or told. Couldn’t see through him either. He was sweaty, an’ dirty, an’ his smile showed all his teeth. Not proper for a seraph, that. But he laughed when I wandered through the streets, clickety-clack, peeking inside throats to try an’ see the wings. They could still come. I mustn’t miss ‘em.

All the new smells tickled my nose, an’ made it crinkle like a bunny rabbit’s. Someone called me that, a long time Before. Who? It seemed important, an’ it rummaged through my head, but I didn’t understand. Whoever it was is wrong. Not a rabbit...I don’t know what I am.

A test, I bet, to see if I’ve been good enough to sit at God’s feet. He tested people a lot, Mummy said. Hide an’ seek, hide an’ seek. All hiding, an’ seeking, but no finding. How could glowing angels with pointy wings be concealed so well? I asked Daddy. “Idiot whore. Why would God want anything to do with you? He let me take, right in his damned church. He wanted the abomination out of his sight. A devil like you insults him. He had to get rid of your taint, so he gave you to me, to do with what I please. Forever.” Such naughty words. Lies. Mummy or Daddy must’ve lied. Blonde angels and bat wings, or the dark man with a wrinkly bunny-head? The one who hurts.

Mummy wouldn’t lie to her baby, for it wasn’t proper for a mother to do such things, an’ she was proper, an’ sweet, an’ sang. Mummy wouldn’t lie to her baby. My Angel held my hand...all those lovely pops. “Your Mummy was a daft little slut . Quite a screamer though. She enjoyed everything I did to her.”

I see all the blood (How did it get on the ceiling?). My Mummy wouldn’t have liked her pretty room to get soiled. A lie! A petulant lip, an’ a mumbled “Did not”. Slippery tongue, and sharp manhood. Little crimson lines running down my legs, an’ staining my dress. “She left you darlin’, because she knew what you are. She begged me to get rid of you, and dumped you the first opportunity she got. You’re a monster, and she wanted you the Hell away from her.” The blood was all scratchy, but my legs were numb. An’ purple. Such pretty colors, like paints. “Your Mummy, and God, and all the rest of them...they left you sweetheart. They’re gone, and I’m the only one you’ve got. The only one who can take care of you. I’m your new father, and it’s my job to love you, and punish you when you disobey.”

Ooh, bad. Bad, bad, bad. I talked back to Daddy, and had to be punished. Bad girl. Wonderful Daddy, to not put me in the corner. Beautiful Daddy. My Daddy wouldn’t lie, no, no. He’ll take care of me, an’ keep me safe. Mummy lied, but I got my Savior anyway. My Angel...

Sometimes Miss Edith whispers in my ear, says I’m wrong.Someday the bright, bright seraphs with shiny, shiny wings will take me away, just like Mummy promised. Will they burn? Liar. I already have my Angel.