Author: Meltha
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: Yes, thank you. Meltha
Spoilers: Season 5 of Angel... sort of
Distribution: Fanfiction.net and the Bunny Warren. If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: This is just a little piece of Spike/Angel crack. And I do mean crack.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Mutant Enemy (Joss Whedon), a wonderfully creative company whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.
Author's Note: Originally written for beadattitude, who wanted BtVS/AtS regular-cast pairings, smutty/fluffy, and use of the words cold, protest, silky, the last straw, and a lost favorite item.

Weirder Things Have Happened

The day Angel woke up to find L.A. freezing over, he knew the apocalypse had to be nigh.

Again.

At the end of the day, shuddering because of the extreme cold everywhere in the Wolfram and Hart building, he was looking forward to exactly one thing: bed. His red sheets had been freshly laundered, and there was nothing in the world he was looking forward to more than slipping between their silky softness, turning on his electric blanket, and going unconscious for several hours.

The sight that awaited him when he opened the door to his appartment was not what he expected, but in retrospect, that was why he should have been expecting. Nothing ever went the way he expected, after all.

Still, very few people could have blamed him for being a little surprised at finding Spike leading a very indignant llama through his living room, using one of his favorite red sheets as a make-shift leash, while balancing a tray of Reese's peanut butter cups in one hand. The image was so odd that it actually took Angel a moment to process that Spike was also completely naked except for a pair of bright pink bunny slippers.

Spike had halted in his progress across the room with his back towards Angel at the sound of the door opening, his posture stating that he knew he was in very deep trouble.

"I can explain," he protested without turning around.

Angel sighed.

"This isn't a llama. It's a... interdimensional ambassador from... somewhere. I don't know where. And it's... it's against their religion there to wear clothes, so I'm just being culturally sensitive."

The llama looked at Spike with a raised eyebrow, then spat delicately on Angel's highly expensive carpet.

"Would you believe I remembered it's your birthday and I got you chocolate and a llama?" he asked lamely.

Angel continued his gaze-of-doom. The last time he'd used that, Spike had wound up in Australia, running from a heard of kangaroos. Coincidentally, he had been naked on that occasion as well.

"Would you believe Harmony had something to do with this?" he asked tentatively.

"Possibly," he said after a long pause, then shrugged and walked into his bedroom, sighing.

And then ran back out.

"SPIKE! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!" he yelled, tackling him to the floor and in the process smashing the remaining chocolate peanut butter cups over his peroxided locks.

"It's not my fault the llama mistook your closet for a toilet!" Spike yelled back, smooshing the chocolate over Angel's face in the process.

"Oh, what the hell!" Angel said, grunting, then proceeding to ravish Spike just on principle.

The llama regarded the two copulating vampires with a slightly impressed expression, then ate half of Angel's leather couch before wandering off down the hallway to look for the rest of the delegation from his dimension, though all the people wearing clothes were continuing to offended his sensibilities mightily.