Author: Meltha
Rating: G
Feedback: Yes, thank you. Meltha
Spoilers: Nothing reall.
Distribution: Fanfiction.net and the Bunny Warren. If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: So, a leprechaun, a hag, and a troll walk into a bar...
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by J. K. Rowling (although honestly here I think I've actually got original characters... huh, I guess I don't need a disclaimer).
Author's Note: Based off Dumbledore's unfinished joke about the leprechaun, the hag, and the troll who walk into a bar.
Dedication: Written originally for Barbed_whispers

Delayed Punchline

A troll, a hag, and a leprechaun all walk into a bar...

and none of them has so much as a knut between them to buy a drink.

"I bet I can get a drink in spite of not having a coin to me name," the leprechaun says.

Promptly, he walks into the bar, produces a cauldron full of fake gold.

"Barkeep!" he yelled wildly, "Give me a flagon of your finest mead!"

"What sort of fool do you take me for!" shrieks the barkeeper. "I know that'll disappear by morning. Be off with you before I have you brought up on charges of fraud."

The leprechaun went dejectedly back outside again.

"Now you'll see how it's done, dearies," the hag cackled before charming herself to look like a goregous young witch.

Into the bar she walked, batting her eyes alluringly at the barkeeper and simpering sweetly. He did indeed seem quite taken with her, that was until...

"Might I have a bottle of your best firewhiskey, lovey," she said, but the voice was not the piping soprano of a young girl but the loud croak of the hag she was.

"Get out, you old prune!" the barkeep yelled, cottoning on to her trick, and also possibly because his wife was giving him dagger looks from across the room.

"Well, none of us is getting a drink tonight," said the hag with a shrug, the leprechaun nodding in agreement, but the troll pointed to himself, then at the bar, and grunted.

"You really think your stupid self is getting a drink when we planned everything out so pat and got nothing?" the leprechaun laughed. "This I have to see!"

The troll walked into the bar and murmured quietly while pointing to the ale. When the barkeeper shook his head, the troll took out his club, knocked him unconscious with one blow, and walked back out the door with a cask of his best ale.

This only goes to show, the best stratgey is to speak softly and carry a big stick.